Lately I’ve been fascinated with being in my twenties. It’s such a weird age to be, and it feels like it’s the time when a lot of us hurt the most. We have to choose between closing up to the world or continuing let things in that can hurt us. And sometimes it just feels so much easier to run and hide.

There’s no love without loss, so should we just close up to love, at least for a bit? To trust others inherently opens us up for hurt, so should we stop trusting?

It seems like that’s probably where the pandemic of emotional unavailability stems from in our twenties, especially in relationships and friendships, but I think a lot of us even become emotionally unavailable to ourselves. We go numb instead of embracing the fear and sadness life brings.

We run from bad feelings, and good ones too, because if we get to used to good we feel like we won’t ever be able to handle bad, or we feel so much hatred for ourselves we don’t think we deserve good.

In reality, that’s all just fear talking. The only way to heal and grow is to stop running and face what you’re scared of head on. Dive into it, let it swallow you, and come out the other side with the realization that you can handle the pain or grief or disappointment it brought.

And a lot of the time, that’s when I’ve found the things that made me happiest. The best things in life are almost always the scariest, and I think if you’re feeling lost right now, you should try turning around and facing what you’ve been running from. It might be exactly what you’ve been looking for.

I think the easiest way to face your fears is to remember every one of us deserves to be happy, even if we haven’t always been our best selves. Often out of hurt. That’s okay. We all deserve to heal.

Lots of bad things happen and we want to harden to the whole world, trust no one, believe we only need us and nothing more, but if you do that you’re losing yourself. Why become cold towards the world when you can be someone that brings warmth to every person you meet? All of us can do that.

This is the year I chose to never lose my softness. I will be staying vulnerable and open and kind and no hurt will change that. I hope more people will be brave and choose the same.